Syllogismism

There Comes a Time to Call Bullshit

Posted in Language, Mysognistic Bullshit, Pop Culture, TV by Dizzy on February 18, 2008

I’m in the kitchen washing dishes (!) and making dinner (!) and my teenager is in the living room watching the TV. A movie promo comes on and I hear these words: (in deep man voice)

“There comes a time in every man’s life when… ”

Take your pick: He must choose between good and evil. He must stand up and be counted. He must learn the meaning of redemption. He feels the need to make a difference in the world. Whatever.

Now let’s imagine for a second that the TV says: (in a woman’s voice, of course)

“There comes a time in every woman’s life when…”

No really, close your eyes and imagine hearing those words, and then try to hear the rest of the sentence.

Sure as shit ain’t you ain’t gonna be hearing the word redemption, I’ll tell you what. Experiences like that are way too human and serious to be the purview of women. No, when we hear this one it’s usually a personal cleansing cloth commercial or a shitty romantic comedy promo and the sentence always ends with something related to a wedding, fine jewelry, someone else’s’ precocious children, giving up a lucrative career, a bad boyfriend, getting old, or body odor.

Women are such funny little creatures, aren’t they? They’re all so exactly alike, so removed from the real business of life, so obsessed with stupid girly things.

(That is, of course, until they realize the important of sacrificing themselves for others and accepting change instead of making it. Duh.)

The bottom line, once again: Women are women and men are human. The male experience is the human experience. The female experience is not only specific to females, it is entirely insignificant.

And here’s what I say to that:

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6 Responses

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  1. syndicalist702 said, on February 19, 2008 at 3:25 pm

    Natalie Dee owns my soul. So does Mikaela Reid. Anywho, never thought of it that way, what your talking about, like a lot of things to do with a woman’s point of view. I see what you’re saying about women not being expected to do any real reflection and I take notice, as with many other things I learn reading blogs like yours. There was a time in this man’s life when he started listening to the story of the oppressed as told by the oppressed, rather than by the oppressor. As a result of me stepping outside my own privilege and trying to look at society through a new lens, I learn something new every day. It’s a dichotomy of sorts: on one side I’m learning what I can do to help bring this monster (this means patriarchy) to his knees; on the other, I’m figuring out, again from a woman’s point of view, just how goddamn deep the misogynist rabbit hole goes and just how wide it is in its expanse. The best lessons come from learning how I contribute, and modifying my behavior accordingly. I’m just barely getting started here and feel I have a lot to learn and a lot more to do.

  2. […] says it: what’s not to love about the wonderful Emma Thompson. Ornamenting Away calls bullshit on the time in a man’s life when he must make a choice; he gets to make a redemptive choice, […]

  3. Nine Deuce said, on March 5, 2008 at 4:55 pm

    I Googled this phrase: “There comes a time in every woman’s life when…” Holy shit. Here are some of the things I got:

    “…she has to chose between her face and her ass.”
    “… things can’t get any crazier… enter ‘Give Me Sugar Haute Hostess Aprons’.”
    “… the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.”
    “… she realizes that a minute on the lips might actually lead to a lifetime on the hips.”
    “… you realize that needy and moody are totally unattractive traits. As long as you are young and cute, you can get away with all sorts of manipulations.”
    “… she begins to hanker after a small dose of unreconstructed masculinity.”
    “… she has to go get her man.”
    “… she must get herself a man or give up the idea entirely.”
    “… she realizes (or needs to realize) that she isn’t 19 anymore.”

    Jesus Christ.

  4. Lunch Admin. said, on April 23, 2008 at 8:53 am

    The phrase “unreconstructed masculinity” made me laugh till I fell offa my chair.

  5. Nine Deuce said, on April 25, 2008 at 4:03 pm

    I liked that one too.

  6. Nonstick Cookware Set · said, on November 14, 2010 at 10:53 am

    every woman needs fine jewelries because it becomes a fashion statement of your personality ,”~


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