Comments on: Blame the Sudden Mother-type Situation

By: drop.spinster

drop.spinster — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 05:49:40 +0000

Glad to be in the 3%.

By: Aunti Disestablishmentarian

Aunti Disestablishmentarian — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 03:58:07 +0000

Yay mac n’ cheese! Glad you’re back & much luck n’ strength.

By: kyrga

kyrga — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 15:27:10 +0000

i’m in the 3%. so even if you miss your appointments to write a thing for the day, i’ll be checking back. very few people call out patriarchal bullshit with the precision and humor you do.
i’m interested to see what happens next with the girl who now lives in your house/under your wing.

By: syndicalist702

syndicalist702 — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 22:13:39 +0000

Welcome back. Good to see you writing again.

Oh…and a six pack for you. If I can throw one that far.

By: thebewilderness

thebewilderness — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 07:11:14 +0000

A Peoples History of the United States is a good place to start a civics lesson that will dispell the myths she has already been exposed to.
cwluherstory.com has classic feminist writings.
There are some excellent poetry sites online, as well as haiku sites.

There are some great fractal programs you can download free. Maths and art all bungled together. What could be better.
Boing Boing usually has the latest interesting/weird thing.

This is going to be so much fun and so much work for you both, it’s exciting.

By: Carol

Carol — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 16:17:23 +0000

Meshing a new person into your life, be it getting married or adopting, is ALWAYS going to have rough spots. I hope the bumpy bits come farther apart. I look forward to your posts. They make me think!

By: RZ

RZ — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 09:14:39 +0000

I like being in the 3%. I look forward to more posts.

By: Dizzy

Dizzy — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 08:20:58 +0000

Yeah, that’s where my girl is at. She doesn’t mind the learning, she just can’t stand the going to school part. I’m working on getting her enrolled in a home-tutoring program with the school district, but the bureaucracy of it, what with me being a not-yet-legal guardian and her MIA mother being the only person with any legal authority, it’s a bit of a challenge.

In the meantime I’m attempting to fill her school hours with a series of questions to answer (Why was the 2000 election so controversial? Who are the Jena 6? What exactly is the morning after pill? Who were the Flappers?), and a few essays on books and movies.

A sanctioned homeschooling environment it’s not, but hopefully it will, at the very least, get her in the at-home school state of mind and teach her how to use Google to its maximum effectiveness. At best she will learn that there’s a whole world of interesting shit out there and she’ll want to find out more about it.

Suggestions for questions and reading material are not only welcome but very much needed. Thanks.

By: thebewilderness

thebewilderness — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 07:05:14 +0000

Letting someone into your life is a very hard thing to do.
So, if she doesn’t go to school, are you homeschooling?
I ask because if I had had that option when I was a teen I would have been very very happy to continue my education, so long as I didn’t have to do it in the school environment.

By: TP

TP — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:57:41 +0000

Nothing harder than writing a blog. Who am I, to think I have opinions that matter? The dangers of self-absorption are real and frightening.

But you’ve somehow put yourself into a position of caring for someone outside of yourself. It’s so obvious, in a theoretical way, that caring for others heals the self-inflicted wounds of self absorption and can directly lead to all these healthy habits like cleaning and cooking decent meals. Strangely enough, most of us just don’t get it until some situation arises when we have a chance to take care of someone else, or something else. And then we bloom – in a kind of stressed-out, topsy turvy way.

Caring for my mother after her back surgery helped heal me when my life collapsed a few years ago. Caring for someone can be so therapeutic you can see how women, in general, got sucked into the role of being the caretaker. I guess that being mindful of it could be enough to keep it from getting to be something that turns negative in the long run – like being used by those you care for, or giving more than they need until they resist your blandishments.

I just have an incoherent suspicion that there’s some tie between the pleasures of selflessness that become a crutch and the way it fills the needs of women who don’t understand that’s what they’re doing and who can’t regulate it. The dynamics of giving and taking gone wrong are the essence of sexism.

But I am really glad you have taken this step. This is life! I wish you every joy in this extension of yourself outward.