I was wondering how long it would take before the rape threats made it into my comments. I know how any blog written by a woman, but most especially feminist blogs, get a ton of the “you just need a good fuck” comments, but I guess I thought my barely-read, barely-begun blog would be immune for at least a while. Ack, no such luck.
News flash! Suggesting that a female blogger be raped in order to cure her of having opinions you don’t like isn’t new, funny, or interesting. Male-dominated culture is defined by its relentless threat of violence against women – you aren’t saying anything that all of us haven’t heard a thousand times before in some form or another. Which is pretty much the reason that I started writing here in the first place.
I’d love to prevent people like you from even thinking the way you do, but that’s a big task. I need more time. Until then, keep away worthless little trolls. You’re fucking dumb and your words mean nothing to me.
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August 2, 2007 at 7:50 am
Lina
I haven’t had rape threats, but I had a guy who would leave me REALLY nasty comments. So I outed him with a bit of detective work (see my sidebar – comment rules). Trolls don’t realise they’re anon in the comment box sure, but statcounter and the like doesn’t protect them.
August 3, 2007 at 8:22 am
baby221
*sigh* Chalk up another reason for Why I Hate The Patriarchy. Can’t even leave us alone on our own blogs, can they??
August 12, 2007 at 5:24 pm
BONGO MIRROR
I’ve been pondering the statistics on rape for a while. The thing that has mystified me is that by counting victims, one gets a very high number and yet counting perpetrators, one gets a low number. I know that part of that is that perpetrators are often not caught. However, the number of victims is so high that there must be a sizable portion of men who are rapists. And, yet, in my social circles, such action is deemed completely reprehensible. In fact, I’m quite confident that none of my male friends are rapists.
The business that you just described makes me suspect that there is a sizable social group that thinks (if you can call it that) that rape is just fine. The group is invisible to me except by consulting statistics. My guess is that this group is about 1 percent of men but that’s a complete guess. Do you (or any of your readers) know of any studies on such a group of people?
August 13, 2007 at 6:57 am
Jodie
Bongo:
Anecdotal, but has a bearing. Some men don’t believe that what they’ve done is rape.
My exhusband had numerous affairs/prostitutes and taped them without their knowledge. Since I found them by accident while we were married, I fastforwarded through them because I wanted to know what was going on. At least two of the women were raped by him (he still denies this); one was a scared 15 year old prostitute (underage; he thinks paying her made it OK). One was drunk, fully clothed and passed out; he removed her clothing, penetrated every orifice, taping the entire time. While she may have consented prior to that, her unconscious state made her consent null and void. Yet he believes to this day he did nothing wrong with either of those women.
Oh, and btw, I destroyed every one of the tapes after the police saw them and determined they couldn’t prosecute without knowing who the victims were.
August 13, 2007 at 7:17 am
Ciccina
Jodie: that is so bad. I am so sorry you had to see all that (and go through all that). My thoughts are with you.
August 13, 2007 at 10:38 am
Jodie
Thanks Ciccina; it’s a long time ago now, and ceased to hurt much. What I really miss is my loss of innocence, that someone I trusted so much could turn out to be such a scary person.
August 13, 2007 at 11:41 am
wheresroxy
This one deserves a standing ovation! Terrific thoughts – thanks for sharing… And don’t mind me if I steal the sentiment on trolls.
August 13, 2007 at 4:20 pm
BONGO MIRROR
Jodie: Thanks. I bet that explains more of them. Also, I’m sure there are some who are aware that it is wrong and do it anyway. I still think there are probably some who are aware of what they’re doing and think it is OK and some that think the victims deserve it.
August 14, 2007 at 6:35 am
Jim
The larger type in the entry space here is a breath of fresh air.
I’m glad I found this blog (feministing linked to your context post from 7/20) and hope to learn more about feminism and gender equality from folks like you – from the mouths of the oppressed.
What I think we men fail to realize is that threatening and intimidating anyone, to include women, hurts us as a whole as much as it does you. Please correct me if I’m wrong, but is it not all this negative behavior coming from us that causes us to be viewed with suspicion?
I read blogs like yours to answer this question: Where are the men who give a damn about gender equality to begin in order to promote it? So far, what I’ve read has been very helpful on my journey to become right with the virtues of fairness and justice.
Thanks for that!
August 21, 2007 at 9:05 am
TP
The most horrifying thing about men is that they all think rape is something far worse than the routine bullying they think is seduction. Most men think that paying a prostitute is not rape, even though consent is only given through financial dominance. The very idea that sex can originate through mutual attraction is seen by most men as only one of the many ways to have sex, yet it is the only one that doesn’t stink of rape.
Men seem to have a penchant for the idea that rape, or forceful seduction, or whining and pleading, or intoxication and confusion followed by unprotested rape, or any of the other methods they employ to have sex with reluctant women, can be a pleasant thing for women that will naturally result in the woman become aroused and satisfied against her will. This sickness is so deep and so entrenched in our pornsick world that I can never assume any man is entirely free of it, I am very sorry to say.